2018: A year in review
(ported from Medium)
Disclaimer: This is my inaugural blog post and will be wrought with self-reflection that you will likely find pretty boring. That said, feel free to read on and recap my year with me!
I’ve been told self-reflection is helpful. Looking back, it turns out there’s a lot to unpack and reflect on over the last 365 days. This year contained my highest-highs and my lowest-lows. Instead of doing a play-by-play of 2018, I thought I would share the 3 lessons that meant the most to me this year.
1 | Be grateful
Goodness gracious — was it ever a big year! I graduated with my second degree, landed my first career role, slowly started travelling, and was able to grow personally in ways I couldn’t have imagined. Through those peaks, it was uplifting to celebrate and be celebrated by those who not only believed in me but also drove me to be the best version of myself. I will always be grateful for the people who pushed me to such highs this year.
But it wasn’t all perfect — the ups were exhilarating but, boy oh boy, were the downs devastating. Through the bang-ups and hang-ups, there was a silver lining that took a little searching to see. Hindsight may be 20/20, but I can look back now and be grateful to those who stood steadfastly and brought me out of my lows as I roared through like a whirlwind of self-destruction and self-deprecation this year.
Those that brought me back from the brink aside, I am also grateful for the events that landed me there. Life is a perpetual lesson. Without the series of (un)fortunate events of this year, I don’t think I would be able to grow into who I am today (for better or worse, depending on who you ask). Being thankful and grateful when the chips are down is something I’ll be working on in 2019 since life is going to come out swinging.
2 | Be open
I always believed I was an open person — the-easy-to-read, heart-on-my-sleeve, no-secrets kind of guy. It wasn’t until the latter half of the year that I started questioning that maybe I wasn’t that guy anymore. I was in my head with a lot of things, personal and professional, and not being open and honest with myself, let alone those around me, led me to where I am at the end of 2018.
Someone recently told me that we shouldn’t have to hide what we feel and should experience things fully as they happen. I felt those words in my bones. It was around the same time I was reading Thinking, Fast and Slow (definitely recommend) and Kahneman touched on how stifling emotional reactions leads to people giving in faster to the urge to quit. It really hit home since, in retrospect, far too much energy was spent stifling emotions this year, and looking back, it rippled across more than I thought it did — my work, my relationships, and my personal goals.
Like the photo of Lake Tahoe at the start of this post, life comes in waves: up, down, repeat. The tough part was that I wasn’t sure when or where the ‘up’ was coming from after the most recent ‘down’. The last few months of 2018 taught me that being open also means rolling with life as it comes. Life will throw things at you and if you keep putting out the right energy, maybe — just maybe — life will throw some good things back your way if you keep an open mind enough to recognize them as they come.
If 2018 was a dropkick to the stomach, 2019 is likely to be a roundhouse straight to the head. To keep my head on a swivel this year, being open and honest with myself and those around me is going to be half the fight.
3 | Be kind
Hurt people hurt people. There were periods in the year where I was a hot mess mentally and emotionally. I was hurting and I didn’t acknowledge it. There were actions taken that can’t be taken back. It took a few kind souls to remind me that we are allowed to feel things and that we should be kind to ourselves. We are all human and we all feel things — good and bad — and we should live accordingly. Not being perfect doesn’t mean that we don’t deserve kindness from our own heart and mind.
I was reminded this year that, in times of frustration or distress, taking it out on others is not the way back to clarity. Whether through watching others lash out or being the one lashing out, being a spot of kindness in a sea of indifference can have an impact we couldn’t fathom at the time.
I hope that 2019 can be the year that I can return the favour and be the spot of kindness for those around me if they need it. After all, in the immortal words of High School Musical, we’re all in this together.
Coming out of 2018, I’ve learned that the biggest opposition in life comes from ourselves. Regardless of what happens externally, internal reactions are everything. The tail-end of 2018 started to bring out a new mindset for myself fed by those 3 lessons. Inspired by a quote from Lemony Snicket, I started to say this more and more often:
If you’re waiting until you’re ready, you’re not going fast enough.
When we wait for the right moment or when we wait until we’re ready, we’ll miss out on the chances we’ll regret not taking and 2019 is the year of taking. Our only limit is how much we’re willing to do for ourselves. Here’s to taking 2019 by storm!
If you’ve made it this far, thanks for indulging my writing! Feel free to follow along while I start covering everything from what I’m reading, listening, and watching to what I’m working on and what I want to work on.
Happy New Year’s folks!
Stay dangerous,
PJC